Fans of Supernatural stand divided on many issues related to the show and characters. One of the most hotly debated topics is John Winchester's merit as a father. Some defend him passionately. Others criticize him harshly. Many argue that he simply prepared his sons for life in a dark and scary world. Others feel that John had a duty as a parent to protect his boys from the terrifying reality around them. Parents have kept dark truths from their children for centuries. Whichever side of the debate you fall on it's impossible to deny that John made a lot of mistakes. From forgetting Christmas to smothering his sons' individuality John was a flawed father at best. These examples of his parenting are not his proudest moments.
10 Playing Favorites
When Sam and Dean discover their half-brother Adam they learn their father's darkest secret yet. Not only did John protect Adam from the world of hunting but he did all the fatherly things that Sam and Dean always craved. It's a bitter pill to swallow. They gaze longingly at photos of John and his secret family. Fishing trips, camping excursions, and other outings seemed to be the norm of John and Adam while Sam and Dean rarely bonded with their father over anything that wasn't life-threatening.
9 Erasing Dean
John Winchester knows his boys well. He especially understands which one will follow him to hell and back and uses that to his own ends. The younger Winchester brother was somewhat sheltered in his earliest years but Dean bore the full weight of his father's vengeance-driven life.
This brainwashing successfully erased every part of Dean's personality that wasn't directly related to hunting. In flashback episodes, fans get a glimpse at the sensitive, creative and intelligent young man who was suffocated at every turn. Dean could have become a very different man if his father had only embraced his son's personality.
8 Disowning Sam
Sam Winchester is guilty of many things but being a bad son isn't one of them. He tolerated more in his childhood than he should have had to and still came out of it with love and respect for his father. He knew the life of a hunter wasn't for him. Sa decided to take his talents elsewhere and pursue his education He went to undergrad and then set his sights on law school. Most fathers would be proud of a son as hardworking and studious as Sam, but not John Winchester. He wasn't impressed by his son's mind. He was furious that his son rejected life on the road. He made it clear to him that choosing his future meant he was no longer part of the family.
7 Skipping Christmas
Dean Winchester is a fantastic big brother. He has gone above and beyond to carve out the best childhood for Sam he possibly could. Given the circumstances, it's amazing Sam is as well-adjusted as he is. John missed many important moments and milestones with his boys while he was hunting. Perhaps one of the hardest memories for his boys are those of Christmas in hotel rooms without their dad.
Dean would never let his beloved little brother miss out on the holiday season. He managed to beg, borrow and steal gifts, a tree and decorations to make even the seediest motel feel like a Christmas at home. John should have been there for his boys playing Santa and passing out gifts.
6 Absentee Father
It's painfully obvious just how little John Winchester was there for his boys. They faced every major life milestone without their father. Sam and Dean developed an unbreakable bond through all of this trauma. They raised themselves and each other. John simply wasn't there. Birthdays, holidays and life events weren't enough to call John in from the road. His mind was consumed with the need to find and kill the yellow-eyed demon and destroy as many monsters along the way as h could. His children were an afterthought. Despite this lack of involvement, John still expects respect and devotion from his boys. He asks them to sacrifice their own futures and safety to join him on his quest.
5 Failing Mary
Mary Winchester's tragic death was the catalyst for her husband's vengeance-fueled hunting career and the loss of her sons' childhood. There are so many questions surrounding that night but one of the loudest is "Where was John?". In the many scenes depicting her death, Mary passes by Sam's nursery in the night. She hears the baby stir. Looking in the room she sees a figure over the crib and assumes it's John. It's later revealed that John is sleeping in an armchair downstairs. Mary realizes her mistake and runs to save her baby. Maybe John was simply too tired to stay awake the night Mary died. Flashback episodes reveal the tension in John and Mary's marriage. If he had been awake and close by maybe Mary would still be alive.
4 Dean's Dance
If you compare both Winchester boys Dean has always been the least demanding. He asked for so little for himself. Dean is a loyal foot soldier for his father. He's there to follow orders and toe the line. You would think that being so faithful and obedient would earn him the right to ask for one special moment. Young Dean Winchester had one shining period of normalcy. After he landed himself in trouble he was sent to live on a farm meant to help young boys avoid prison and teach them life skills. Away from John and the life of a hunter Dean begins to blossom.
He's making friends, doing well in school, participating in activities and even falls in love. Dean plans to take his girlfriend to an upcoming school dance when John shows up out of nowhere and demands his son return to life on the road. Dean's dogged loyalty to his father overrides his love for his new life. He leaves it all behind to avoid disappointing John.
3 The Tell-Tale Reaction
It seems every member of the Winchester family has taken a turn being a host for a demon. Some have been harder to detect than others. John Winchester served as a vessel for his own evil spirit. In most cases, those who know the hosts of demons recognize that something isn't right. Hunters have been known to toss holy water on those they believe are acting strangely. In John Winchester's case, it was out of character behavior that alerted his son that his father was not in control. It wasn't unusual cruelty or distance that tipped Dean off, it was kindness. When John was proud of Dean for saving his brother, even though it meant losing his prey. He knew it couldn't be John. His father would never support saving Sam over killing their foe.
2 Child Abandonment
When Mary Winchester settled down to marry John she must have imagined he would be a very different father than he turned out to be. Losing his wife drove John over an edge. He hit the road to relentlessly pursue the thing that took Mary from him and the boys. Along the way, John fell in love again. His love interest became pregnant with his youngest son Adam. John showed Adam an unreal level of favoritism but he still hit the road and left his child behind. Some fans of the show argue that John was arming his boys for reality when he raised them as hunters. Those in that camp must feel that he left Adam vulnerable and ignorant.
1 Hypocritical Criticism
John's love for Mary is palpable. He dedicated most of his life to avenging her death. He's protective of her even after she passed. John makes it very clear that he disapproves of how Mary was raised. She was brought up hunting by her father Samuel. Despite the criticism for his father in law, John still made many of the same choices as a father. If it was so wrong for Samuel to raise Mary as a hunter, how could he justify raising Sam and Dean the same way?
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