Russian Doll is a fascinating, funny, and by the end, an artful depiction of choices and self-reflection involving time-travel and death. So, kinda like Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. There's even self-actualization too as Nadia and Alan are forced to re-examine themselves over and over while the world around them refuses to let them continue in their separate but linked spirals downward. As such, they and those around them display distinct personality and behavioral traits, plenty of which would make the Sorting Hat's brim twitch with consideration trying to find their most reflective Hogwarts schoolhouse. Assuming of course after every death they couldn't just go back and retry for different results. Or is that the point...
Anyway, with worlds crumbling and choices thrown into stark relief, we get to see the best and worst from most everyone here. Weighing them all up, here are the Hogwarts Houses for Russian Doll's interesting, eclectic cast of adult misfits that best reflect those choices and events. As always, remember that there can be wayward Gryffindors just as easily as honorable Slytherins. Nothing here is so black and white.
10 Nadia
Nadia has a desert-dry wit and a nonchalant attitude about life. An almost fatalistic, sardonic view that lets her waft through everything set in front of her without really having to confront it as long as she can parry it away, fallout be damned. We find out that the baggage she's carrying isn't half as light as she makes things out to be though. Combine that nature with her logical programming job and the methodical way she tries to sort this conundrum out, and she'd find herself cast as a Ravenclaw.
9 John
This guy is hung up so badly on Nadia that he's unable to let go. He drops things whenever Nadia asks just for a chance to rekindle their relationship, one that he let end his marriage. He wants what he can't have, even if it might ultimately not be good for him or his daughter.
He's not a bad guy but his perpetual, blind pursuit of Nadia is a Slytherin trait to the ground.
8 Alan
The overthinker's overthinker. Alan couldn't engage in his own life properly, allowing a strict routine to dictate everything to the point of ruin. He neglected his relationship while lying to himself about his involvement in that failure, a false logical instead of real emotional response. It takes repetitive intervention and the time loop for him to see the fatal flaw in the way he's been living his life. Overall, his reliance on intellectual solutions to complicated problems lands him in the blue of Ravenclaw alongside Nadia.
7 Maxine
She revels in her little world, enjoys combative relationships and shameless behavior. When people around her are going through something, she'll eventually lend a hand, but not before demanding that they follow through with whatever she wants, whether that be staying at a party, eating her chicken, or smoking her laced joint.
Ultimately, Maxine seems like what you'd get if Luna Lovegood had grown up a saucy Slytherin.
6 Lizzy
Lizzy is Nadia's closest female friend, even if Lizzy still holds a justified undercurrent of a grudge against her. An artist, seeming like someone who didn't begin as a free spirit but is more of a 'released spirit' after earlier turmoil.
Able to maintain a wide friend group, loves, and a creative outlet, she has a strength that feels like it had to be earned. As such, the Sorting Hat could well yell out 'Gryffindor!' had it ever been placed on her short-cropped, white-haired head.
5 Mike
When you can honestly describe yourself as 'the hole where a choice should be' you're not breaking the bank on self-esteem. Oddly, for all his obvious faults, Mike can't be accused of ambition or deceptive conniving, since he's fairly forward about things. To get the things he wants he'll work at the problem diligently, as we see him almost constantly using his strongest asset, his mouth, to spin the person he's chatting with into his orbit. It's just a shame those things he wants and uses that diligence with include other people's girlfriends and his students, with surprising success. It's the eyebrows, right? Got those Jack Nicholson arched eyebrows happening. A rare case of either a shameless, kinda jerky Hufflepuff, or a hard-working, oddly charismatic Slytherin. A Slitherpuff, if you will.
4 Ruth
Nadia's mother's friend who took care of her after she left, Ruth is a vital person in Nadia's circle, having pulled her from her mother's dark spiral since childhood. She is also a nurturer, with her therapist occupation a way to help people help themselves.
Always willing to lend an ear to anyone who has their world turning upside down, Ruth has that Hufflepuff nature down.
3 Ferran
Ferran is most often seen lending a hand to his wayward friends and customers, Alan in particular. From what we get a glimpse into, everyone would be lucky to have a friend like this guy. He works long hours but will close his shop when there's a friend in need.
He keeps friend's confidences, even when the info is just about a wayward cat. He'll seemingly go out on a limb for the right reasons when it's called for. He couldn't be more of a Hufflepuff if he wore a badger costume.
2 Lenora Vulvokov
Now, here is your classic Slytherin representation incarnate. Nadia's mother constantly buckles under the weight of her responsibilities and desires to do anything but be a proper mother to Nadia.
Opposed at her core, her eventual leaving of her flesh and blood for her own wants spells a person wallowing under the spell of their failed ambitions. When ambition takes precedence, there's only one house at Hogwarts you can call home. Get into the dungeons, ya Slytherin!
1 Horse
Russian Doll's homeless enigma. 'Horse' at various times gives emotionally supportive haircuts, steals suicidal Alan's wallet and engagement ring, and leads the series ending parade in a buck-headed helmet-thingy. But he's not inscrutable! He has a small group of others he connects with besides Nadia, albeit when taking Alan's things. He also can be taken advantage of, as shown when someone steals his shoes, endearing him to Nadia's oft-hibernating good graces. He's almost whoever Nadia or Alan needs him to be at various times to help further their multi-dimensional journey, making decisions, and growing. You know what? He doesn't get put into a house. He IS a human Sorting Hat!
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