On Game of Thrones Sansa and Arya Stark understand the importance of loyalty to family. The two women are able to put aside their grievances in order to defeat a common foe. Their relationship isn't a close one, complicated by politics, personality differences, estrangement, resentment, betrayals and misunderstandings.
While sometimes it's easy to question if Arya and Sansa love each other much less like one another. By the series finale, the best fans can hope for is they have found some peace and closure. Here are 10 reasons why Sansa and Arya aren't real friends.
10 They Are Complete Opposites
As children, the sibling rivalry between Arya and Sansa is an inevitability. Sansa excels in all the areas that are deemed valuable, and Arya prefers more masculine pursuits.
During season 1, Arya takes great pleasure in teasing, embarrassing and tormenting her older sister. The difference in age and temperament further widen the chasm between them. Despite the hardships they both face during their long estrangement, when they finally reunite, at their cores, Arya and Sansa are still the same in many ways.
9 Arya Can't Stand Joffrey
When Joffrey first arrives at Winterfell, Sansa is thrilled to become the object of his affections and, possibly, the future queen. One person who isn't in awe of Joffrey is Sansa. After a skirmish with Joffrey forces her to send Nymeria away and results in the death of her friend, Arya's disdain for Joffrey is born and grows stronger over the years.
Arya equates Sansa's short-lived infatuation with Joffrey with her sister being an active participant in the troubles that befall their family at the hands of the Lannisters. Of course, Arya has no idea the years of torture and humiliation Sansa endures both as Joffrey's betrothed and as a prisoner of war.
8 Sansa Resents Arya
Sansa's or Arya's journeys after leaving Winterfell as children aren't easy, and neither details their hardships. When Arya returns to Winterfell and constantly questions Sansa's choices and intentions, Sansa pushes back. Arya underestimates the role her sister played in reclaiming Winterfell. No one should understand better than Arya that women don't have much of a voice when it comes to determining their destinies. Arya's poking does bring Sansa's frustrations with Jon to the surface, further fueling the tension between herself and her younger sister.
Sansa has never vocalized being envious of Arya in the past, but she does tell Arya on season 7's "Beyond the Wall" that while Arya was off "training," she was suffering the unimaginable. One sister escapes, and the other is held captive and tortured by Joffrey, Cersei, Littlefinger and Ramsay. The two women judge each other and find the other guilty of some inexcusable crime.
7 Arya Makes A Snide Comment About Sansa's Bedroom
Once Arya returns to Winterfell during Game of Thrones season 7, she is openly resentful of Sansa's position in their home, and her feelings manifest in obvious ways and smaller ones.
When Arya discovers Sansa has taken over their parents' former bedroom, she doesn't bother to hide her annoyance. In Arya's mind, Sansa played a role in the death of their father and married into the family who murdered their mother and brother. Winterfell, the bedchamber and Sansa's title are all ill-gotten gains.
6 Arya Won't Give Sansa A Straight Answer
After working together to execute Littlefinger, the tensions between Arya and Sansa are greatly diminished. But there's still an underlying resentment on Arya's part that Sansa is the Lady of Winterfell. It's impossible to miss, and Sansa decides to forgo the intrigue and ask her sister directly if it bothers her.
Arya won't say whether it does or doesn't, only that she wouldn't have made a good lady herself. It's never the life Arya wanted, and maybe it's not so much about Sansa staking her claim, but how many others pay the price for her to get there.
5 Sansa's Reaction To Arya's Fighting Prowess
When Sansa and Arya finally reunite during season 7, Arya isn't surprised that Sansa is the Lady of Winterfell because Sansa's ambitions have always been more traditional. But their years of estrangement makes Arya more of a question mark to Sansa. It's only when Sansa sees Arya training with Brienne that she begins to comprehend how dangerous Arya has become.
Their reunion is a tepid one, and while they both admit they've suffered during their years apart, neither is forthcoming with the details. There is begrudging respect between them, and the ever-present familial bond, but they are strangers, and Sansa is disturbed by how driven Arya is by violence. This concern isn't rooted in love but in fear.
4 Arya Makes A Veiled Threat
Searching Arya's room on season 7's "Beyond the Wall" doesn't give Sansa answers as much as it creates more questions. After being caught, she learns of Arya's association with the Faceless Men. Arya's more interested in interrogating Sansa about her possible jealousy of Jon. The entire conversation is a dance, and Arya takes the lead. It's meant to intimidate her older sister, and it works. Stalking Sansa with a dagger and insinuating she could easily take her sister's place if she only had her face isn't friendly behavior.
3 Arya Threatens To Expose Sansa To The Northern Lords
After Arya finds the letter Sansa wrote to Robb, Arya confronts Sansa on season 7's "Beyond the Wall." It doesn't matter to Arya that Sansa was a scared child being held hostage by the Lannisters. Arya can't fathom how Sansa could believe the Lannisters would show mercy to Robb or their father. In her mind, Sansa betrayed their family.
The letter becomes leverage that Arya can use against her sister. Exposing it would guarantee Sansa would face the anger of the Northern lords. Even though Sansa and Arya work together to expose Littlefinger, this argument takes place free from prying eyes. The anger and resentment aren't staged, it's real. Arya views Sansa's actions as treacherous. Arya never uses the letter against Sansa, but her threat - legitimate or not -- shows unmistakable disapproval of Sansa and her choices.
2 Sansa Knows Arya Prefers Jon Over Her
Littlefinger does his best to drive a wedge between the sisters during season 7. His goal --as always -- is to remain as close to Sansa as possible. Once Jon bends the knee to Daenerys, effectively relinquishing all of his power, Littlefinger suggests that Sansa rally the Northerners to stand behind her instead, effectively stripping Jon of his title of King in the North.
Sansa's immediate reaction is that Arya loves Jon far more. Arya is willing to trust Jon and forgive him for choices others won't, but she doesn't extend the same generosity to Sansa. The Stark sisters are bound by blood, but there isn't much holding together their tenuous connection: one easily tested by Littlefinger's exhaustive scheming. in the end, much of what Sansa says to Littlefinger is to set a trap to reveal his treachery. But he seizes any opportunity to capitalize on the weaknesses in the sister's relationship, and Sansa does acknowledge the existence of those weaknesses.
1 Arya Leaves The North Behind
After returning to Winterfell during season 7, Arya remains to fight the Night King during season 8. With Cersei buried under a pile of rubble in King's Landing by the final season's end, Arya's list is done. She decides not to return home to aid her sister but to leave Westeros. The likelihood of her return is slim.
She doesn't even discuss her plans with Sansa, breaking the news to Jon instead. Sansa makes no argument for her sister to stay, and Arya wouldn't change her mind even if she did. After their talk of surviving as a pack and not lone wolves, Arya chooses isolation and the unknown over life in her family home with her sister.
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