Sansa Stark and Jon Snow have what could only be described as a troubled relationship. Sure, they are cousins (although they believe themselves to be half-brother and sister) but there's a real lack of friendship there.
Game of Thrones has hardly tried to hide the animosity between the two. They are very conflicting personalities are constantly at odds against one another. Here are 10 reasons why Sansa and Jon aren't real friends.
10 DANY'S INVOLVEMENT
Dany's arrival into Jon's life could not have come at a worse time for either of them. As Jon was gearing up to be the King in the North and face off against the White Walkers, Daenerys was looking to win the war for the Iron Throne.
Their relationship did not bode well from Sansa's perspective. She tried to pit them against one another, wanted Jon to break off the relationship, and manipulated them both. From his end, he gave no consideration to how Sansa would deal with a new Queen.
9 CHILDHOOD REJECTION
Even back when they were younger, Sansa didn't exactly welcome Jon into the family. Although she bothered her other siblings like Arya, there was a resentment from Sansa that she likely picked up from her own mother.
Jon, on the other hand, barely made any attempt to connect with Sansa. He thought she was spoiled and entitled and put in much more work with Arya. Therefore, Sansa and Jon rejected one another even before they grew into their leadership roles as adults.
8 SIDING WITH OTHER STARKS
We've already mentioned how Sansa was known to side with her mother in most situations. The same can be said for Jon, who really only listened to Ned There was a clear divide in the family.
In almost every situation the two would side with completely different Starks as if it was some kind of rivalry between the two. Even as they got older there was some manipulating from Sansa to try to win Arya to her side over Jon.
7 LEFT FAMILY BEHIND
Jon, for his part, actually left his family behind on numerous occasions. Whether it was his drive to join the Night's Watch or even travelling south with Dany to try to take the Iron Throne, he abandoned the other Starks again and again.
Sansa also left her family behind, choosing to stay with the Lannisters in King's Landing, much to the displeasure of House Stark. Both of them actively tried to stay separate from one another; actual friends would have tried to stick together.
6 DIDN'T PROTECT HIM
When the time came for Sansa to protect Jon at all costs, she failed. She completely ruined the negotiation and instead allowed him to be sent back beyond the Wall with the Night's Watch. This is in spite of the fact he should have been the King of Westeros.
Perhaps this was a power play from Sansa, or maybe a genuine error or a lack of political skill, but at least Jon wasn't executed as Grey Worm wanted. Contrary to that, though, surely Sansa could have come up with a much more viable plan.
5 LYING ABOUT LITTLEFINGER
Littlefinger and Sansa have a very close relationship. But he's a figure that Jon definitely doesn't trust, and neither does Arya for that matter. The end result for Littlefinger is Sansa siding with her family and allowing him to be executed.
However, she brought Littlefinger and his forces into the huge Battle of the Bastards without even warning Jon. This put him and his men at risk. She also gave Littlefinger far too much political information, which could have really damaged Jon's place as King.
4 VYING FOR CONTROL
Even though Jon Snow was named King in the North, it was clear that Sansa was not happy with the decision. She constantly tried to undermine all of Jon's choices and claimed that it was for the good of Winterfell.
When the time came, though, she jumped at the opportunity to be Queen in the North. It's as if she rejected the notion of him still being a Stark after the time away from Winterfell. However, Sansa too had rejected her own identity for quite some time.
3 NOT RESCUING SANSA
Much like Sansa made no effort to really rescue Jon, there were plenty of times where Jon could have gone back home and tried to rescue Sansa. Sure it would have broken the oath but he does that regardless.
He sometimes hears news of his family and yet never sets off to try to save or find them. The person he is worried about the most is Arya, and he's more relieved to see her than he ever could be to be reunited with Lady Sansa.
2 SHARING THE SECRET
Jon finally opened up to his family and decided to share a secret he had promised not to tell anyone — his true heritage and his background as a Targaryen and a Stark. This was vital information that could be shared with no one else.
So Sansa immediately spread the word. This had a major avalanche effect which included the murder of Varys, the descent into madness of Dany ,and a lack of trust between Jon and Sansa. It was one of the worst things she could have done.
1 FINAL GOODBYE
When Jon and Sansa said their final goodbye it was clear that what they had wasn't a friendship. After everything they had been through, there was genuine respect, but there was also a formality to it.
Whereas Jon and Arya clearly shared a touching moment, where he was truly proud of what she had become, it almost felt like Sansa was the awkward addition who he felt compelled to say goodbye to out of necessity rather than love.
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