MCU fans eagerly await the debut of Taskmaster in the upcoming Black Widow movie. The Marvel villain is regarded as one of the world’s most dangerous and adaptable mercenaries thanks to his ability to replicate any opponent’s fighting style with his “photographic reflexes.”
In the comics, Taskmaster is also a respected teacher, having trained multiple spies, assassins, henchmen… and even heroes. But every villain has their match, and there was one person Taskmaster couldn’t train to be an effective agent – a fry cook named Emery Schaub.
While Schaub had some impressive powers and an easy-going personality, all of Taskmaster’s teaching methods failed to turn him into a superhero. Here’s how a dim-witted fry cook made the world’s most adaptable man admit defeat in Avengers: The Initiative #13.
In the aftermath of Marvel’s first Superhuman Civil War, anyone in the United States with super powers had to register with the government under the Superhuman Registration Act. While many people hated this, overweight fry cook and superhero fanboy Emery Schaub was thrilled at the idea of becoming a card-carrying superhero after he somehow gained the power of total invulnerability. Drafted into the Initiative program, Emery reported to Camp Hammond and was assigned to drill instructor Taskmaster.
While Taskmaster normally trained supervillains, he was assigned as the Initiative’s trainer while the usual drill instructor Gauntlet recovered from injuries sustained by the living cartoon Slapstick. Taskmaster drilled his recruits hard, but couldn’t get through to Schaub, whom he codenamed “Butterball.” In typical fanboy fashion, Schaub even innocently asked Taskmaster what qualified the mercenary to train others since his photographic reflexes let him acquire skills without training.
“Butterball” continued to frustrate Taskmaster since no amount of training could improve Schaub’s weak, clumsy, and flabby body. This was due to the fact that Butterball’s invulnerability froze him in his current state, making him incapable of losing weight, gaining muscle mass, or getting tired. Taskmaster put Butterball on a strict diet of tofu and vegetables to try and get him into shape, but this proved ineffective. He made Schaub run laps, which the boy could do all day – but only at a snail’s pace. Weightlifting also proved problematic since Butterball could lift light weights indefinitely – but couldn’t budge anything heavier.
Taskmaster couldn’t even intimidate Butterball, since Schaub was so happy to be training among future heroes. Unable to punish him through traditional means, Taskmaster began punishing Butterball’s teammates, hoping they would turn against him and make him shape up. However, even after his fellow recruits beat up Butterball one night, Schaub didn’t even wake up thanks to his invulnerability.
Butterball finally proved his use to the group when four contract killers broke into the camp and took Schaub as a hostage. Taskmaster simply opened fire on both the villains and Butterball, knowing Schaub’s invulnerability could take the shots. Afterwards, Taskmaster conceded defeat in training Schaub and Butterball washed out of the program. In a surprisingly classy move, both Taskmaster and former villain Constrictor posed for a picture with Schaub where they lay on the ground, showing he’d beaten them both.
Despite washing out of the Initiative, Butterball continued making sporadic appearances in Avengers: The Initiative. He was recruited by Taskmaster to serve in the Shadow Initiative (actually a group of superhumans used as canon fodder) where he was basically just used as a human shield. He was later recruited into Avengers Academy as a part-time student, although his effectiveness as a traditional superhero remained unchanged.
Surprisingly, Butterball’s greatest success was as a propaganda figure for the Camp Hammond training program. While he himself had washed out, middle America still loved and supported him. At one point, Norman Osborn (who had taken over the Initiative) claimed this was because Butterball was “fat and stupid, just like them.” So, while the Initiative did finally get to use Butterball in some useful fashion, Emery Schaub remains the one superhuman even the great Taskmaster couldn’t train to be a fighter.
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