The holiday season of 2018 brought us the Christmas movie we didn't know we needed: The Christmas Chronicles. Just when you thought you'd seen every version of Santa Claus that needed to be seen, Kurt Russell gave us a uniquely hip, but jolly Santa who manages to maintain his cool when a couple of kids, Kate and Teddy Pierce, decide to make his most stressful night of the year even more intense by causing him to lose his sleigh and reindeer.
The plot may not have been the most original, but it didn't stop us from having plenty of fun as Santa helped reinvigorate the Christmas spirit in Teddy, as well as many others along the way. It has just been announced that 2020 will bring us the gift of a sequel. Here are a few things we'd like to see.
10 SEAT BELTS FOR SANTA'S SLEIGH
One of the most remarkable things about this particular Santa was his decked out sleigh. It had the power to essentially teleport to anywhere in the globe with the press of a glowing button, among other things.
Despite all these high-tech features, there were no seat belts whatsoever to be found. Really, Santa? Even though we know it's just a movie, it's hard not to feel a little terrified when Kate plunges to her nearly certain death when she is initially thrown from the sleigh. Granted, it's not Santa's job to prepare for stowaways, but he's not immortal either, right? Isn't that just a practicality?
9 GLOBAL ADVENTURE
There was plenty of action during the course of the film. From a car chase in a Dodge Challenger to a last-minute race across the world to deliver presents, Santa and company never had a dull moment.
Sadly, most of the crew's time is spent grounded in Chicago. And while Chicago is a perfectly adequate setting, it's disappointing that their adventures elsewhere get cut down to mere seconds as they globe-trot to save Christmas. With all the teleportation that magical sleigh can provide, we'd like to see Santa's next adventure(s) in some more exotic locales.
8 MORE PARKOUR
One notable thing that Kurt Russell's Santa can do that has been absent in previous iterations is the way that he delivers presents by literally jumping from rooftop to rooftop (albeit with the help of his magic hat). Not only Santa but the kids, Teddy and Kate, do quite impressive vertical stunts to land in Santa's sleigh.
Clearly, Santa underestimated their skills when he parked the sleigh right outside their street. Of all the new things that this Santa story brings, this was one of the most unique. We'd love to see some more Christmas-spirit-induced leaps and bounds in the sequel.
7 LESS TRAUMA
Every movie has to have a narrative arc to flesh out the story and, we get it, drama is an easy way to increase the stakes for a character. However, it felt like the reason that Pierce family lost their Christmas mojo (i.e. the loss of the patriarch Doug) was hit on a bit too hard. The Pierce family wasn't just broken up by the loss of Doug; it was shattered. Multiple references are made throughout the film about Teddy's potential for becoming a criminal, and while some of them were funny, others felt a little too pointed and serious.
There are plenty of Christmas movies to make you cry happy tears; we don't need any that make us genuinely sad.
6 OFFICER JAMESON
Fans of the TV show New Girl were pleasantly surprised to see the appearance of Lamorne Morris, who played an eventual cop named Winston, as Officer Mikey Jameson of the Chicago Police Department, where Winston, coincidentally, is also from (wait, is this movie just a New Girl Christmas special?!).
Morris steals every scene he's in, proving to be one of the few adults that believe in Santa by the end of their encounter with him. While having the return of Officer Jameson would probably necessitate a return to Chicago, maybe Santa and the crew can rendezvous with him on a Christmas vacation?
5 FEWER FAT JOKES
This Santa was also notably different by being a Santa that "stayed away from carbs and sugar" and clearly hit the gym a few times a week (the parkour alone takes a more toned individual). Naturally, the movie was going to throw down a couple of fat jokes to address the difference.
But people couldn't seem to stop losing their minds over this, constantly reverse fat-shaming Santa to the degree that he deliberately runs his sleigh through a fat Santa billboard at the end of the movie. We love you in all your forms, Santa. You don't need to hit the gym or do parkour to be accepted... and, in 2019, poking fun at fat people detracts from that good ol' holly jolly feeling.
4 MORE ORIGINAL SANTA SONGS
Another standout scene was Santa making the best of spending a night in the slammer and making a band out of his fellow inmates. Kurt Russell may not be Bing Crosby, but he sure took command of the microphone when the spotlight came up and performed "Santa Claus Is Back In Town."
Setting a musical scene in a jailhouse may not be the most natural choice for a Christmas movie, but it didn't feel like a forced musical moment either. It probably won't become a classic, but you can tell Santa and the inmates were all having a good time.
3 FEWER ELVES
Of course, what would a movie featuring Santa Claus be without at least a glimpse of the elves? Usually, when we see elves depicted at the North Pole, they generally resemble some kind of human. Not these guys. These elves bring the holiday cheer to a halt, bearing a closer resemblance to furry Gremlins.
Not only that, but they have their own language that only Santa (and later Kate) can understand. Sure, they do prove useful later in the film and help get Christmas back on track, but can't we at least get some subtitles? We won't be disappointed if these guys get less screen time in the sequel, but we won't hold our breath.
2 MORE HO-HO-HO!
Another noticeably absent attribute of this Santa is his signature catchphrase, "Ho-ho-ho!" which he states is just a myth. Kurt Russell's Santa Claus wants you to know he isn't your grandma's Santa.
At the end of Chronicles, Kate pleads with him to do it just once. Santa relents and declares it will be a one-time thing. Perhaps to no one's surprise, it's a genuinely good "Ho-ho-ho!" We're not saying Santa has to become Katerina Kittycat and say it inexplicably after everything he says, but a few more would be appreciated next time around.
1 MORE MRS. CLAUS
With all that was going on in Chronicles, a substantial and meaningful role for Mrs. Claus was probably too much to ask for. But we were lucky enough to see a cameo from her at the end portrayed by Russell's real-life partner, Goldie Hawn.
Given their natural chemistry in real life, Russell and Hawn don't have to do much to bring that same energy to the screen. With the recent announcement of the sequel also came a photo of the couple together in costume, so hopefully that means she'll be more present in the sequel.
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