All nine-year-old Ralph "Ralphie" Parker wants for Christmas is a Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200 Shot Range Model air rifle—a BB gun. A Christmas Story chronicles Ralphie's life in the days leading up to Christmas and his multiple attempts and subsequent setbacks to secure the perfect holiday gift.
A Christmas Story looks at Ralphie's childhood through a nostalgic haze: a time when Santa still exists and the harshest reality a kid has to face is a schoolyard bully. The epicenter of Ralphie's world is still his family no matter how imperfect they may be, and it's only through reliving these events as an adult narrator, does Ralphie recount with fond memories the best Christmas he's ever had. Those feelings are contagious, and A Christmas Story has become a holiday classic. Like any great movie, A Christmas Story has left an indelible mark on the pop-culture landscape. Here are 10 iconic quotes from A Christmas Story we will always remember.
10 "You'll shoot your eye out."
Ralphie has a lot of obstacles to overcome to get his hands on a Red Ryder BB gun. He's savvy enough to start with subliminal messaging: stick an advertisement in his mom's Look magazine. Yet, his boyish exuberance overtakes his scheming just long enough for him to blurt out to his mother what he wants for Christmas. Her response of "You'll shoot your eye out" is both dismissive and devastating.
There's an infinite well of unquestionable wisdom mothers possess when it comes to the well-being of their children. The source of their concerns vary, and some aren't more than speculation and hearsay. "You'll shoot your eye out" becomes both an earworm for Ralphie, and he represents every kid whose dreams threaten to be dashed by the cynicism of adulthood.
9 "I triple-dog-dare ya!"
The battle cry on the playground uttered by one of Ralphie's best friends, Schwartz, leaving another pal, Flick, with no choice but to defend his burgeoning manhood. How else can you get someone to stick their tongue to a frozen flagpole? Schwartz is determined to save both his face and his father's.
Every kid and adult knows that daring someone is a way to taunt the unwilling into an act that they have good reason to fear. A Christmas Story introduces a well-thought-out schoolyard parliamentary procedure, and "I triple dog dare ya!" becomes the ultimate way to shut someone down or force them to step up.
8 "I can't put my arms down."
Ralphie's younger brother Randy is at a threshold: still at an age where he reaps the benefits of his mother's coddling but feels the effects of her smothering demonstrated by his valid complaint of "I can't put my arms down." Randy and Ralphie's mom's attempt to protect her son from the slightest effects of an Indiana winner is both laughable and endearing.
Randy rarely speaks without whining; a luxury afforded to the youngest of siblings. It's hard not to feel bad for Randy since the only place he would be better shielded from life's small discomforts is in the womb.
7 "Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window."
The leg lamp is an iconic movie prop. Old Man Parker's "major award" is the fishnet encased light in his otherwise mundane existence. To his wife, it's an eyesore: a travesty she's forced to put on display in her perfectly-appointed room. Mother Parker is repulsed, but the lamp awakens urges in young Ralphie that have nothing to do with electricity.
His mother can lure him "away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window" with Little Orphan Annie, but she can't shield him from the exists under that fringed skirt forever. While some boys sneak peek at lingerie catalogs or their friends' older sisters, Ralphie's hormones are jump-started by a campy lamp.
6 "Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beetloaf. I hate meatloaf."
Randy is less relatable as an actual character than what he represents—the ever-present, mostly annoying and sometimes entertaining younger sibling. He doesn't have much to contribute to a conversation, but, when he does, it can resonate. Meatloaf is a middle-class dinner of choice at least once a week in millions of households. There's very little appealing about this dish for those grown-up enough to just suck it up and accept there are no alternatives.
"Meatloat, smeatloaf, double beetloaf. I hate meatloaf." There's nothing mouth-watering about anything in this observation, but it sums up the appeal of this particular menu item adeptly thanks to Randy who would rather play with his food than eat it.
5 "He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny."
Old Man Parker's assessment of Ralphie's costume from his Aunt Clara, "He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny," is a reminder of two inescapable components of Christmas: bad presents and relatives. Ralphie's utter humiliation at having to parade around in a pink bunny costume, becoming the ridicule of his father, and even worse, his younger brother, is a relatable torment.
Holidays with the family can be joyful, but there's an intimacy that makes us vulnerable. Moments that a nine-year-old Ralphie would never want his friends to see. There's also gifts every year that miss the mark. Ralphie's just happens to be particularly over the top terrible.
4 "Only I didn't say 'Fudge.' I said the word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the 'F-dash-dash-dash' word!"
There are seminal moments in a kid's life, and one is when they slip and let their first curse word fly. A Christmas Story may be set during a more innocent time and in a more idyllic place, but even today, a child saying the F-word remains a no-no. There's an age when it's cute and even funny (mainly because they're repeating something they heard with no understanding of what it means) and a time when it's no longer a punishable offense, but Ralphie falls just in between. Ralph realizes just a split-second too late that he's sealed his fate, and just days before Christmas no less.
3 "Naddafinga!"
There isn't a lot that gets Old Man Parker worked up: the neighbor's smelly hounds, the radiator and his crappy Oldsmobile top the list. But, when his precious lamp is "accidentally" broken by Mother Parker, his anguish is only outweighed by his ire. The subtle one-sided battle brewing between husband and wife erupts into all-out war as everybody's true feelings about the Old Man's award comes to light.
Unwilling and unable to let the lamp go, Old Man Parker does his best to salvage what's left, but fate is working against him. Mother Parker informs him there's no glue with which to piece the shattered leg back together. Convinced this entire situation is a conspiracy, he rushes out to get supplies, emphasizing that his wife not lay another hand on what's left of the other woman in his life by stating "Naddafinga!"
2 "Aaah! 'Fra-GEE-Lay!' It must be Italian!"
When Old Man Parker learns he finally one a contest, he's convinced the prize must be big. When the crate arrives, the writing on the outside confirms his expectations, "Fragile." Or as he sees it "Fra-GEE-Lay." This is perhaps the funniest and most memorable line in the entire film. There isn't a moviegoer on this planet who if they've seen A Christmas Story hasn't uttered "Fra-Gee-Lay" when dealing with something delicate. Old Man Parker's interpretation has become synonymous with handle with care—no matter what the contents.
1 "He had yellow eyes! So help me God! Yellow eyes!"
Scut Farkus was the worst thing Ralphie, his brother and his friends had to fear. A coonskin cap-wearing demon to Ralphie's recollection, "He had yellow eyes! So help me God! Yellow eyes!" As if this overgrown freckled miscreant is on par with something unnatural or out of a horror movie. Scut Farkus is a low-rent bully, handing out black eyes and making young boys cry "Uncle," but Ralphie slays the mighty dragon, proving the monsters from our childhood are usually not so scary after all.
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