Secret agent James Bond has been on our screens for over fifty years now. Since 1962, the character has defeated several evil organizations, murdered countless nameless goons, and seduced the most beautiful women in the world.
However, one of the main problems with the Bond legacy is tied to his vast history as a cinematic icon. For instance, what was acceptable and cool in the 1960s and 7os may no longer be acceptable or cool today. The clearest example of this is Bond's problematic and questionable 'seduction' (if it is fair to call it that) of Pussy Galore in Goldfinger.
This article will list 10 of the cringiest Bond pick up lines and quotes that haven't aged well.
10 The Man With The Golden Gun: "I Approve Your Uniform. Tight In All The Right Places, Not Too Many Buttons."
There is a fine line between flirty and sleazy. Unfortunately for Bond, he is nowhere near the line here. The line is directed at a new agent played by Britt Eckland, whose name is, naturally, Mary Goodnight. At what is essentially a work dinner, Bond instantly 'compliments' Goodnight on her dress and suggests that he will be removing it later by commenting on the buttons.
The line is a great example of sexual harassment in the workplace and it is a real surprise that Bond hasn't been dragged before some kind of tribunal.
9 From Russia With Love: "Just Do As I Say, Will You?"
This is a prime example of the Connery-era sexism. While Roger Moore's Bond was a sleazy sex pest, Connery's Bond was more '1950s Dad' in his treatment of women. In the early Bond movies, Bond treated women like garbage. Connery's Bond was known to slap women across the face, wrestle with them, and even forced himself on Pussy Galore in a very uncomfortable scene in Goldfinger.
With this quote in particular, Bond demands that Tatiana Romanova do what he says and then slaps her on the ass - textbook sexism.
8 The World Is Not Enough: "I Thought Christmas Only Comes Once A Year."
Pierce Brosnan's Bond wasn't as sleazy as Moore's or as sexist as Connery's; rather, the 90s Bond just made terrible puns that forced your eyes to roll into the back of your head. In the World is not Enough, Denise Richards portrays a nuclear physicist called Christmas Jones. While the name is not as overt as Pussy Galore or Dr. Goodhead, it did lead to one of the most obvious jokes of all time.
After Bond sleeps with Christmas Jones, Bond declares 'I thought Christmas only comes once a year', causing a collective eye roll across the audience.
7 From Russia With Love: "It's Just The Right Size For Me."
Another entry from the second movie in the Bond franchise. In this scene, Tatiana Romanov says 'I think my mouth is too big', to which Bond replies 'it's just the right size for me.' This is by no means the worst entry on this list, but it is certainly worth including here.
It's another perverted line from Bond that is clearly inspired by the Carry On franchise. If anyone said this line on a Tinder date, the date would end there.
6 Tomorrow Never Dies: "I'm Just Brushing Up On A Little Danish."
In this scene, Moneypenny calls Bond to request he head back to London in order to be briefed on a mission. Moneypenny askes where he is and Bond responds with 'I'm just up here at Oxford, brushing up on a little Danish.'
As Bond says this line he is in bed with a linguist professor called Inga Bergstrom. It is a surprise that she didn't kick him out straight away after he said this.
5 Die Another Day: "I Have Been Known To Keep My Tip Up."
Another eye-rolling pun from Brosnan, except this one involves a cameo from Madonna. The Queen of Pop plays a stern fencing instructor and says to Bond 'I see you handle your weapon well', to which Bond replies 'I have been known to keep my tip up.'
This is just another example of innuendo from Bond that certainly makes him look far lamer than he should, although Madonna also makes an awful innuendo.
4 The Man With The Golden Gun: "Miss Anders! I Didn't Recognise You With Your Clothes On."
This scene is certainly strange. Before Bond delivers this line he is making out with Mary Goodnight, but as soon as Andrea Anders walks in, Bond throws Goodnight in the cupboard and delivers the line. The line is incredibly sleazy and it is shocking that Andrea Anders then ends up sleeping with Bond.
To further highlight Bond's poor form, Bond and Anders sleep together while Goodnight remains in the cupboard.
3 The Spy Who Loved Me: "Keeping The British End Up"
This quote is the final line in the whole movie. After defeating Karl Stromberg's plan to destroy human civilization and restart life underwater, Bond and a Russian agent named Anya Amasova are floating across the ocean in an escape pod.
Naturally, the pod is some kind of sleazy bedroom pod so Bond and Amasova start having sex. However, unbeknownst to the two agents, their pod is intercepted by a ship with both Russian and British intelligence heads on board.
The two agents look up to see their superiors staring at them through the windows and a member of the group asks 'what do you think you're doing' to which Bond replies 'keeping the British end up, sir'.
2 Diamonds Are Forever: "Well, As Long As The Cuffs And The Collar Match."
Again, this is just another creepy line that Bond delivers at a very early point in the relationship. The conceit behind this line is that Bond is meeting Tiffany Case, a diamond smuggler who has been wearing different colored wigs to hide her identity. Case asks Bond whether he prefers blondes or brunettes and Bond replies with 'as long as the cuffs and collar match.'
It shows the absurd world of James Bond very well. James Bond could say anything to these women and they wouldn't be put off him at all. The line is funny in the sense that we laugh at Bond rather than with him.
1 For Your Eyes Only: "Now, Put Your Clothes Back On And I'll Buy You An Ice Cream."
This one is just weird and creepy. This movie was Roger Moore's fifth outing as James Bond and it was obvious that he was beginning to get too old for the role. In fact, the reason why Roger Moore quit as Bond was directly linked to the creepy nature of a man in his fifties consistently bedding women in their twenties.
Allegedly, Moore quit after A View to a Kill because he learned that the mother of the Bond girl was younger than he was. While the above quote may be innocent, it does reek of a weird and creepy daddy-daughter relationship.
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